Skip to main content

WHAT IS IN FRIENDSHIP?

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer”
“A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and sincerity”. Robert Hall
So huge a word it is. Hefty and great has it remained since creation. Often times, people think they can have it in entirety. Of a truth, it is something that everyone one on earth needs in its purest and truest form. It is to individuals what any natural resource is to a nation, indeed, it is natural. It was sent down to man to reflect the nature of God. That word is friendship. It is a divine gift to humanity. This entity has suffered so much from misconception, thus, it now assumes a new image, name and its fame creates terror in the minds of many who have tasted the warped side of its nature–what people have created out of it. There are so many meanings given to it. Friendship springs from friend –somebody who trusts and is fond of another. It also means a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Friendship therefore as a child of friend is a relationship between two or more people who are friends. It involves mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behaviour that typifies genuine features of friends. The painful reality is that, horrifying experiences have constructed a negative reputation of friendship in the psyche of people. Friendship comes with a lot of doubt. Many people are irritated at the sound of friendship. The pronunciation of that entity comes with anger and hatred to some, while others are indifferent about it.
The love that should mirror friendship is broken –the 21th century idea of friendships dearths that love. Some of the opinions of people include: “true friendship doesn’t exist”, “I can never trust my friend”, “friends are shit”, “they come so nice, at the end they stab you”, “some friends are parasites”, there is no gain in friendship”, “I don’t want friends... I prefer to be alone”. If you have ever shared in the above thoughts, then, you are like me. Also like me, you should think again. Ask yourself these questions: can I be a friend to someone I don’t love? Can I survive alone on earth? Why can’t I trust someone I call a friend? What kind of friendship do I want? True friendship produces love, trust, affection, compassion, assistance, sacrifice. True friendships breeds addition and multiplication, it complements and supplements the lives of those that share in it. It neither harbours contempt nor grudge. Genuine friendship resides in the understanding of silence shared. True friends are there in times of adversity, they help you relieve your gloom and sombre moments. Ulysses S. Grant agrees with this when he said; “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to ready enjoy with me the sunshine of prosperity”. Though friendship has been smeared with treachery, the solution lies in the re-orientation of the mindset of people. It begins with you! The kind of friendship you want should be the kind you give. There are no rules for friendships, but there are qualities of friendship and should be found in a true friend, they are:
  • Unconditional love: a true friend should love unconditionally. He accepts you the way you are. He knows your strengths and weaknesses. Such a friend loves you in good and bad times believing that betters moments are ahead.
  • Forgiveness: friendships stems from forgiveness. It impossible to build friendship out of the precinct of forgiveness. This is so because no one is perfect and people will always make mistakes. A true friend should know how to forgive, understanding that you never meant to hurt them.


  • They don’t judge you: a good friend never tries to judge your decisions. In life, there specific decisions you’d take that may seem to raise eye brows. Some nasty people in the guise of friendship will get irritated and cringe from you especially when things get awkward. But a true friend does not judge, he only tries to understand the reason behind your actions and tries to point out the wrong move in a way that is pleasant and inoffensive.
  •  Friends motivate you: indiscriminate judging is never an option in friendship. Though there are steps or paths plodded that a true friend will judge to keep him or her in check, it must be done logically. Sometimes you need someone to tell you; “hey, what are doing?” “Do you think it’s right, why not try this?” He is always there to motivate and spur you to action when you’ve tried and failed, when life seems like a sisyphean contract – they never give up on you.
  • Good friends keep your secrets: one has to be careful in this aspect. Your secret(s) when whispered to the wrong person can be your demise. Not everyone is capable of keeping secrets. Be mindful and wary of garrulous friends, they most times say things without even knowing they’ve said it. Good friends are those that have a confidential file to everything you tell them in their hearts.
  • Above all, they are people you can always be ridiculous around: people who cannot condescend to your antics are not worthy of your friendship. It involves accepting you the way you are. Let’s take Tom and Jerry as an example; you may say Tom always seeks to harm Jerry. But he only responds with a condign reaction to Jerry’s antics. In most scenes, they are become friends after a long tussle. The truth is, either of their lives won’ be complete without the other. That how true friendship is, and should be.

Friends, quality friends are rare to find, cherish the ones you have if they deserve it, and if you don’t have yet, just open your heart to friendship bearing in mind the qualities of a true friend, and the right person will come by.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Review of Tekno’s “Rara”

  Song Title: Rara Artiste: Tekno Type: Single Genre: Afrobeat Duration: 4 minutes, 01 second Producer: Selebobo Year Released: December, 2016 Reviewer: Desmond Okon                                                A reviewer once said that Tekno has dropped a new hit song. “Not just that, it’s got a strong message!” he exclaimed. This goes to show that for a long time, since Fela passed on and Eedris Abdulkareem kept mute, there hasn’t been a song with a message rocking the media space –talk more of one with a strong and clear message. Tekno has broken the jinx of “message-less” and empty songs –and this makes it standout as a delectable hit song. The piece exudes a deja vu of the heydays when music championed a course an...

THE WEDDING PARTY REVIEWED

Title: The Wedding Party Producer: Don Omope, Ijeoma Agukoronye Director: Kemi Adetiba Screenplay: Tosin Otudeko Genre: Romantic Comedy Key Casts: Sola Sobowale, Iretola Doyle, Richard Mofe Damijo, Alibaba Akporobome, Adesua Etomi, Somkele Iyamah-Idhalama, Daniella Down, Banky Wellington, Zainab Balogun Ayo Makun (YA), Beverly Naya, etc Date of Release: December, 2016. Reviewer: Desmond Okon If you’re looking for a movie that teaches on the intricacies of planning a wedding, The Wedding Party, TWP, is your best bet. The movie examines the features of a Nigerian wedding with a blend of comedy. The glitz, glam, the boisterousness, the colour, and drama typical of weddings in our clime all in a bid to make a statement; are all seamlessly presented in a natural and fantastic way for the enjoyment of viewers. Weddings, in as much as are happy moments aren’t devoid of their own kinks, and anxiety and pressure capable of calling tears, especially when ...

FAST AND FURIOUS 8 TRAILER REVIEW

Movie Trailer: Fate of the Furious (Fast and Furious 8) Genres: Action , Crime , Thriller Directed by: F. Gary Gary Release Date: 14 April 2017 (USA) Production Company: Universal Pictures Runtime: 136 min Cast: Vin Diesel (Dom), Jason Statham (Deckard), Dwayne Johnson (Hobbs), Michelle Rodriguez (Letty), Tyrese Gibson (Roman) Ludacris (Tej Parker), Charlize Theron (Cipher). Reviewer: Desmond Okon When Fast and Furious is mentioned anywhere, the mind of those who have been following the movie quickly drifts to fast cars, copious action, destruction, and this time, high tech calculated to take you through a world of excitement. Fast and Furious 8, tagged Fate of the Furious did not disappoint as the trailer shows. On the plot: Just as Dom and Letty are beginning to relish their honeymoon; and Brian and Mia retire from the game; while the rest of the crew are exonerated. The “Wonder Team” reaches what seems like having a normal life. But all that ch...